(escapril, day 4: anxiety)

It’s a thick thing hanging low in my belly

A point or two off from nausea

Sparking wires in my core

Never going to catch flame

I see my hands in front of my face

Ugly thick clumsy pink things

I want to tear them off

All they do is cause trouble

There’s an itch inside me

I scratch at my skin but it’s deeper than that

I’m bloody and unsatisfied

Bits of myself lodged under my fingernails

Picking at all the sore spots along the surface

Raw cuticles starting to ooze

Peeling away layer after layer

I think I’m bridging two wavelengths

No one else seems to be getting these signals

It’s driving me crazy

Squirming in this too-tight skin

Maybe I’ll break out but I’ll be

One ugly butterfly